Telemarketer Refugee Camp

Got a call from one of the rats just now after my last post

Satellite and TV crap

The message asked me to PLEASE NOT HANG UP!
I stayed on

They said to press 9 to talk to a thief

no one came on

BASTARDS

CHICKENS

The call came in UNKNOWN NAME UNKNOWN NUMBER
Or I would have posted that... Sickos

 

I have deviated from my focus on helping the damn telemarketers to finding ways to hurt them.

I feel so bad for the bright eyed bushy tailed ones ... but WAR IS HELL

*Sigh*

I need a new life

I am sure one of the rat bastards will call and try and sell me one soon enough though

You know the ones!

They start out like they just f*#^&$ed up and dropped the phone.

*CLANKITY CLANK CLANK*
"Oh sorry! Hey this is Sh*t for brains and I have been meaning to call you all week... seems I have been a little busy and I am so sorry . . BLAH freaking BLAH"

And all this time (insert idiots name here, for this we will name ME - ROBERT) is saying stuff to get the rat bastards attention

"Hello SFB I am busy inserting an IV into my heart!!! HELLO... can't talk now I am in the middle of giving CPR to the mail lady... YoooOOOO hOOOooo"

Then you have to stop and say something bad in another language.

HSIHEDHJ DCYUHOHJ

I hope that was a bad one!  Meaning your goat and mom did something your dad would frown upon.

*Sigh*

Damn charlatan's!

 

From Haggis Ain't Cake!

YOU AIN'T GONNA BELIEVE THIS
Remember I wrote about some cat who called me trying to sell me paint and ???... his name was Aaron (will not say the name of the company).

Well I get a call just a minute ago

Me "Hello"

Aaron "Hey Mr. Keeme my name is Aaron from ..."

Me "Hi" *I wonder if this is another sales call... get pen ready*

Aaron "I just wanted to tell you I did a search on Yahoo and your site comes up right after our name and was wondering if you could move it?"

Me *OMG NO WAY*

Aaron "I have to tell you I laughed and the people around my office laughed it is funny as EXPLETIVE DELETED"

Me "Cool... it was meant in as much fun as possible and your call was the most fun... are you the owner?"

Aaron "No they actually handed a printout of this to me" *statements I won't go into here - unless*


Me "AHHH Tell you what... have them email me and you place a post on there and I will try for you" *Thinking poor cat was told to remove it or get fired*

Call ended around here somewhere with me mentioning this site has a larger audience and he said he would come read (HI AARON!).

If you get tired of that job I know of others I can hook you up with... really.

So looks like one of my frustrations (after telling the world I DO NOT WANT SOLICITATION phone calls) is actually frustrating the very solicitors themselves!

Too Funny

Aaron you freaking ROCK man!

And P.S. guess ya figured I did not give you all the correct info before... sorry man... if had not been you it would have been the next guy.

Hope you continue reading and maybe me and Dave will send you a hat.

Well thats how I feel when the damn solicitor is a freaking machine and there is no way to get back at them.


I need a new way to do this.... what to do


To be continued

OMG! This was a strange call!!!

So I get this cat (I heard him say Martin)

Martin "May I speak to Robert Keeme?"

Me "Speaking"

Martin "Hello I am with neverpaint"

Then he spoke for about 3 minutes non stop talking about how the stuff they use is AWESOMER THAN ALL THINGS

When he was done he asked about my home and what it has on the walls... I said "dirt"

Then he laughed that nervous laugh.

I asked what the stuff was made out of and he said the same crap the shuttle uses and it has ceramic tiles stuff with polymer things and such (he knew his speech).

Me "Martin is it?"

Martin "Aaron actually"

Me "Sorry Eric, Well I live in an apartment"

Eric "OH!" Was about to kiss me off

Me "Hey does this work inside apartments?"

About 5 minutes of the spiel again

Me "So this stuff is made outta that space shuttle stuff? Hmm I don't wanna burn up like those cats did what are you trying to sell me Earl?"

Earl "Aaron, and NO NO NO this stuff is more different it is some kind of plates and little hollow balls"


Me *Laughing* "You said little hollow balls!"

Earl *Laughing* "Yes I did, my uncle just had a vasectomy and he now has hollow balls, but enough about that"

*People in the background laughing at the poor guy now*

We talked about my fake apartment and I gave it a Apt A address. He asked for the name I said it had no name and it was my girlfriend's place.

Earl "OK have your girlfriend call me and I can get her taken care of"

Me "DUDE! Like I am gonna hook you up with my lady... you sick dog is this how you score with babes!!!"

*Both of us laughing*

Earl "Have her call the office"



This cat was cool... a little off, but cool

HAHAHA HOLLOW BALLS

(480) 834-5061
www.neverpaint.com

I answered the phone (BTW, I am in a bad mood). It was an AT&T salescat.

Answered on speaker phone
Me "Hello"

AT&T *No kidding talked for about 1 minute without breathing*

Me *after his 1 min rant* "Helloooooo"

AT&T CAT "Hello"

Me "Hello"

AT&T CAT *Mumbling* If you have any questions please cal xxxxxxx"

Me "OK THANKS!"

AT&T CATS *Clearly frustrated*

I had to hang up he would not.

Funny how the love turns to hate in around a minute

Maria was so upbeat telling me how they can give me better rates than the current company I am with (how do they really know this?).

I told her I was going to prison next week due to being convicted of Arson. I asked if they frown upon this and could they call me in prison?

She became less enthusiastic and told me she could not answer my questions and could she have a loan officer call me. I told her I wanted them to call me in prison and she stated "your not in prison yet"


DUH!

She told me to have a nice day and hung up.

I will try and make them talk more next time.

:-)

Yesterday and then again today I used that line.

This lady called me yesterday from Some wireless company telling me how she could save me TONS of money. I did a bad bad thing

Me "I wish I could but I am going to start serving a prison term next week"

TM "OH MY"

Me "Ya thats what I said"

TM "I am sorry to hear that"

Me "Well I am guilty and I got sentenced last week"

TM "that is really a shame"

Me "I wonder if I could have a cell in there? I really don't know the etiquette"

TM "I don't know, I would think not"

Me "Your probably right"

*By this time I think she was trying to give me her address to write her or something. Now I know how those cats in the pen get chicks*

SO Today I did it again but it went a little like this

Me "Hello"

TM "Hello this is Mark with the Fraternal order of Police"

Me "Your with the Police?"

TM "Yes"

Me "Then you probably know I start my prison term next week"

TM "THAT SUCKS"

Me "Tell me about it"

TM "You should live it up this entire week, or whats left"

Me "Plan to"

TM "Good luck"

Me "Thanks"

I am going to hell for that one

I am so sick today. I hope I get a TM who is selling cures... cause I want one!